As the new year rings in, it inspires us to make "New Years resolutions" that is because a new year brings with it a blank slate, one we are keen to fill with promises of growth, improvement and change. Each year, millions of people around the world make a promise to themselves, for some its to quit smoking, lose weight, go travelling or perhaps to change their career. For the most part, a news years resolution is a way to enhance the way we live, but more often than not we end up putting far too much pressure on ourselves and as a result we give up, or forget about it and according to research, a little over 90% of people just don’t stick to it. We may even take it as a personal failing or lack of willpower, I know that’s how I have felt… but it isn’t. There is another way. A more compassionate approach, with mindfulness. Its all about getting rid of old habits and encourage a new habit.
A habit, by definition is “a settled or regular tendency or practice”, it’s those small everyday choices we consistently make.
So, New Years resolutions are being made (and broken) even as I type, I know this, because every year in January I am one of those people; Making that promise – NEW YEAR: NEW ME… but this year, I am taking a “Calm” approach to my new year… Calm is an free mindfulness app that I have had for just over two years. And they have some amazing free online downloadable guidebooks to help you sleep, meditate and create healthy habits in 2019.
The last couple years my health had taken a knock, I had been suffering with the most
horrendous aches & pain in every bone and joint in my body, my lungs felt like I was being kicked by a horse each time I drew breath and I would constantly have large purple bruising all over my body… most days it was a task just to get out of bed and it was taking its toll on my mental health too… with the inability to move and enjoy life adding to a slump in my mental health, I started to gain weight - a lot of weight, but i guess that's a result of not being able to move much and eating crap… in April 2018 I decided to start Weight Watchers Flex programme, now called WW Freestyle.
WW Freestyle is a holistic programme for weight loss and wellness, guiding you to a healthy eating pattern, whether you want to lose weight or just maintain. using their proven SmartPoints system and 200+ ZeroPoint foods. I was given an allowance of 26 smart points per day, and an additional 40 for the week... I try to stick to the 26 points a day, but knowing that the 40 points for the week are there for a "buffer", meaning I don't have to worry too much if my husband suggests a meal out one night. I attend meetings (now called Wellness Workshops, to get weighed each week. I make sure I track and point EVERYTHING I eat using the WW app, which is great! with 24/7 support with Online Coach and Connect and their social member community, I have everything I need to reach my wellness goals. So... I started to follow the flex, sorry, FREESTYLE plan, although I did start to lose a little weight but I knew the best thing would be to work out… but that just wasn’t going to happen not with the pain I was in…
In July 2018 after countless GP appointments tons of Tramadol and even a trip to A&E in an ambulance, I was finally seen by a Hematologist, who discovered that the dreadful bruising on my body was due "acquired von Willebrand's syndrome" (AvWS) and I was then seen by a Rheumatologist who prescribed me Hydroxychloroquine, an anti malaria drug also used to treat Lupus.
Within two weeks, the drugs had started to work, I was able to move without the excruciating pain I had been feeling for so long…in all honesty, I had forgotten what it was like to live without such pain, and it had taken it toll on my mind, but now I could finally start to move more and work out… I started off swimming 2 or 3 times a week and by August I had lost 14lbs… I was feeling healthier in mind and body, it was then I realise that I wanted to make these changes stick.
So, with the year coming to an end and my symptoms easing up enough for me to act like a regular human person, it was now time to start thinking about the new year...2019!
The new year is a meaningful time for self-reflection. We can review what’s been working for us and what hasn’t; this will help understand what we want to do differently in 2019. So using the guidebook from calm called "Changing habits mindfully - A guidebook for making or breaking a habit" is a simple guide to mindful way of making these differences… the guide tells us that cultivating a new habit or letting go of one that no longer serves can help us create closer alignment between what we desire and how we live.
The big question is… what habits would I like to make or break? It could be to use the calm app and practice a daily meditation, eating more healthier, cutting down on social media, developing a new skill, quitting refined sugar, exercising regularly, stopping complaining, performing random acts of kindness ...?
What is it that I want…
The calm approach to deciding what habits to make or break is to take time to make the decision, Hold the questions as you go about your daily life, while you doodle or while you go for a walk, or do any other thing that supports you in connecting with your own needs and imagination. Then, pay attention to yourself. What comes up might not be what you expect.
I have taken a few days to ask myself these same questions and here is what I have come up with:
Meditate more – using the calm app
Be more mindful in my everyday life
Eat healthier
Get fitter
Have time to reflect and learn to enhance gratitude
Read more books
Get more sleep
Keep up with the blog
Where To Start...
According to the calm approach, If your reflection time in the last exercise brought up multiple changes you’d like to make, you’re not alone. We have creative minds, full of ideas. None of the desired habits you may have listed need to be rejected but it is now time to choose just one to start with.
Forming a Habit!
Its good to know that new habits take about 21 days to form. That means 17 new habit cycles per year. Lots of chances to attend to each in its own time.Looking back over what I have written, I get more drawn to healthier and fitter. The thought of making this change causes me to be excited, especially as I can now do more with the medication I am on, but that’s not to say I have and just a little hesitant as to how well I will do, it will be challenging but manageable.
To help me with my chosen habit(s) I am going to be using The Daily Calm Calendar; an invitation to meet my life with presence and curiosity. with daily mindfulness challenges to serve as tiny experiments to learn more about myself and the world.
It’s not about getting it right, but rather checking in with yourself and deepening your awareness.
Each day I will follow The Daily Calm Calendar and use the resources from Calm website and app to develop good habits. I will also continue to follow the WW Freestyle plan as they compliment each other perfectly. Each week I will blog about my progress… develop a better me not a new me. I will also keep daily calm challenges on my Instagram